The Pillar of Autumn (Halo: Reach Level)
The Pillar of Autumn was the second to last level (the last if you don't count your death) in Call of Halo and is the one where George Clooney goes full-on ODST on a Beetle. In this level you get to loads of extremely exciting depressing stuff like getting smiley skull man to ride on the back o yo pimped out snake killin', bitch fillin' and overall jus' chillin' machine, known as the weasel, seeing that grunts can fall asleep whilst at the SAME TIME huffing plasma, finding out that 2 scarabs had their balls cut off and so could not fire their snot guns, yet they still manage to shit out non-harmful blueberries and firing the PAC Cannon for the first time. WARNING: Noobs find it impossible to complete this level, as they try to get the elite assasination challenge, and being noobs, die every single time. You also get a rocket launcher near the beggining 'much like any other level. #Mission Start #Rally Point 1337 #Rally Point Blumpkin #Rally Point Charlies Balls *--MISSION START-- Auntie Dot- Noble 1, please seek immediate medical attention. Your balls have just exploded. Carter- ''under his breath ''Damn it. May as well just end it all now and become an ODST.... '' Auntie Dot- Sierra 259, you are alarming me- '' ''Carter- SHUT UP BITCH! GET THE FUCK OUTTA MA HEAD RIGHT NOW GODAMMIT! SEROIUSLY! YOU''RE WORSE THAN FUCKING CORTANA YOU DAMN HO! ''Emile- OMG commander did you just see what i did to those banshees, i mean cus' damn son that shit was tight and- '' ''Carter- Six! You scared the shit outta me just there, sneakin' up on me! Now listen. Get the package to the Autumn. '' ''Six: Done. '' ''Carter- No it's not you fucking dumbass. you're still in the damn seagull. Skies are getting raped by whales anyway and this birds getting ripped apart by that phantomns hot plasma cum. Gotta get you off here lieutenant. Emile! Go with him, it's a ground game now. '' ''Emile: Cus' i'm black commander? Ima skull fuck you right now- '' ''Carter- Shut up Emile. Now turn into an ODST and jump outta the seagull with six, somehow not breaking cortana or killing yourselves. '' ''Six and Emile: OOOOOOMMMAAAAHHHHHGAAAWWWWDDDD 4444444444444HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *wumpf* '' ''Six: We're... alive? '' ''Emile: Damn right you white pussy. Now lets get this computer ho to captain key chain. '' ''Six: OK....... '' ''*One badass elite assination and 1337 other covie kills later....* '' ''Emile: Scarab! Engage the shit out of it! '' ''Carter: No you fool! Bungie installed force fields around the scarabs! You'll just bounce off! '' ''Emile: Gun it Six! '' ''Six: But i'm too busy fapping to cortana! '' ''Emile: Shit bro. ima just kill the scarab may self then.... '' ''*5 minutes of pure badassery later* '' ''Emile: O M4H G4WD! 1M4 SUP3r B4D@$$ SP4RT4N BU7 I 1 C4N'7 DR1V3 F0R $H17!!!!!1111eleventy1111!! '' ''*They die continuously for the next five freakin minutes* '' ''Six: Finally! We made it to rally point alpha! Brofist Emile! '' ''*Emile instantly kills six just by touching him* '' *''Rally Point 1337 '' ''Emile: Damn son, fuckers got a wraith. '' ''Six; Z0MG 1 H4$ T3H R0CK37 L4UNCH3R!!! '' ''*Noob six immediately kills everything around him, burning monkeys, huffers, turkeys and even a baby whale with his UB3R N0081N3$$* '' ''Emile: Damn son.... Six: I have.... noob cancer? <;..( '' ''Emile: Come on, my radars somehow not picking that giant.....fuckin..............beetle...... o SHIT! '' ''Carter- THIS R F0R M4H B4LL$11111111!!!!!!!ELEVENTYHUNDREDANDeleVEN!!!! '' ''*Carter, being a dumbass, kills himself yet the scarab, being a badass, simply opened a con o' beans, took a shit on carter, got high of the fumes and wandered off, later participating in an epic battle with chuck norris.* '' ''Emile- *indescipherable muttering which no one understands* '' ''Six- Yeh i watched that video. So what? '' ''Emile- O shit insects six! INSECTS!!!!! Six- Calm down we just need to headshot dude... '' ''Emile: L0l0l0l0l0l0l0l0l0l0l0l0l0l0l0L!!!! Six- O wait i remember....... '' ''*Six wips out a can of anti turkey and bug spray, killing all those enemies that would have been a massive pain in the vagina for noobs* '' ''Six- OMG SPARTAN LASER AND DROP SHIELD!!!!!! '' ''Emile- Rally point.... BLUMPKIN??!! '' *''Rally Point Blumpkin '' ''Six- OK Emile i'm just gonna sneek round the back amnd evade all the barneys whilst you, using your epic blackman balls, stay here and distract them for me, ok? '' ''Emile- HOSTILE FIRE ON ME!!!!! '' ''Six- kk....... '' ''*Six sneeks around for a while, at one point picking up a concussion rifle which he stole from a drugged up ultra, instantly giving him the power to credit farm....* '' ''Six- ZOMG HUNTERS! Rocket ground spirit bomb ATTACK!!!!!!!! '' ''*Six kills all the hunters* ''Six- The cancer... its... growing? '' ''Emile- hey look! Charlies Balls! '' ''Rally Point CB '' ''Keyes: This is captain keychain of the pillar of winter. Six, use your derb gun, nades and drop shield to credit farm the shit out of this bit! '' ''Six: Yes sir! '' ''*Six gets ova 9000 points for killing phantoms. Bungie decides that enough is enough and sends in that field marshall and his swag crew from the beggining. Six convinces emile to get into the PAC cannon, shortly before emile gets SHANKED!* '' ''Emile- THIS IS SPAAAARTAAAA!!!! '' ''*Explosion of gruntiness ends the level, killing six, the FM and even your XBOX! YOU HAVE BEEN TROLLED!* '' ''Trivia '' ''DID YOU KNOW....... '' ''.That the field noob is actually the same guy from the beggining who jumped Jorge, ordered the beach invasion, ordered the brutes to rape New alexandria, ,killed Kat and forced six to enter the PAC Cannon, thus meaning that he is the main boss of Halo Reach? No? Did you also know that that field marshall was in Otha'Letham? No? I suppose then that Bungie should pay Otha'Letham for agreeing to be the villain huh....